I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
