I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
