haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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