she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
