i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This baby is an asshole
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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