spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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