He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
