he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
