thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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