Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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