There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
