I could have mohawked her pubes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
