go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
