break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Mom said you looked used
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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