"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
