She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
