dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
