Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
