why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
