New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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