so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
