So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
