whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
