Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
