wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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