I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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