No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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