Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
