Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
