Can Purell be used as lube?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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