dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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