the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize