you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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