sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize