so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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