but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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