perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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