You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize