i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im holly from the hills drunk
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize