i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
