I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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