I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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