PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
