Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I looked at my own cervix.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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