remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
