i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
