yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize