I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
