For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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