I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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