someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Alive.
So much puke
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
