in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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