I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i barfeds in our rink
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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