Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
