I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
