Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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