thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love having hate sex.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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