I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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