On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
