Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Randomize
