last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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