do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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