mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just high enough for therapy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
