I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
