at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
