I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
